Chris' Top Driving Tips

Driving tips

As yet another claimant to the title of 'Worlds perfect driver' I hereby dispense my advice to you (in true Baz Luhrmann style)


When you think it's a bit icy, try to pull a little skid from about 5MPH. If it is icy, you'll know about it without finding out the hard way by leaving the road at speed.

Also try to wheelspin when pulling away, any unexpected wheelspins indicate that the road conditions are not what they seem. This does of course imply that you know when your car usually wheelspins.


If you can see the side lights of the car in front, you do NOT need your rear fog lights on.

If you can see with your headlights, you do NOT need your front fog lights on

If you drive round with your front fog lights on because it's cool then you are an arsehole

Clean windows

Lots of people meticulously clean the outside of their cars, but don't forget to clean the inside of the windows.


Your driving seat should be far enough back so that the seat supports you along your leg all the way to the inside of your knee. If you pull the seat right forward so you are just on your backside with air between the back of your knee and the seat, you will get a numb backside. I can drive for at least 5 hours without stopping because I have my seat correctly adjusted.

Also don't forget to adjust your headrest. It is NOT to rest your head on, but to prevent you breaking your neck when somebody runs into your rear because you dither at junctions.


If you can't park, PRACTICE!. There's no excuse for thinking your Metro is a foot wider than it really is and parking miles from the kerb. Go and find an empty carpark and practice putting the car where you want it. It's not hard.

As for reversing - the same thing applies. Learn to reverse, learn to use the mirrors. Opening the door and looking out is not on. You can reverse the car into a much tighter spot than you can drive into.


Occasionally go around a roundabout (with good visibility) fast to find out when your car looses grip, and which end if any goes out first. If you know the limits of your car you can deliberately not exceed them. If you haven't a clue, you have no idea how close or not to the limits you are driving. Try it in the wet. Any different?

Slip roads

When joining a motorway or dual carriageway on a slip road, Give it some welly! How many pillocks do you see trying to join the motorway at 35mph. Why not bomb down the slip road, and merge with the traffic at the same speed as the traffic. Going too slowly forces the left hand lane into the middle lane and clogs things up. Worst still, if the vehicle in the left lane can't move over (maybe it's a lorry), it will hit you, or cause an accident that maybe you're so dense you don't even know about.


And finally use your eyes. If there's two lanes on the approach to a roundabout, don't make a third one. Indicate what you intend to do, some people seem to indicate one exit before the one they intend to take. Or not at all. Or turn right at a roundabout but do it in the left lane all the way around. The list goes on!


Steve Carrotte made this suggestion too:

Those t@ssers who drive at 45mph along 60mph rural roads where there are no passing places holding up the traffic for miles, making impatient drivers of us all (sometimes leading to people taking stupid risks to overtake them) and then getting to village with a 30 mph speed limit and going through it at 45 mph! Arghhhh!!!! - You just know you will catch them up again at the other side of the village a mile down the road because you are driving to the speed limit. - I may install a robot wars type flicker on the front of my D90

And finally

GET OUT OF THE BLOODY MIDDLE LANE! If you've been undertaken, then you were in the wrong lane by definition!

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Last modified on: 25th August 2017 by email the webmaster

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